Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I just saw this on the news:

"Senator John McCain is planning to meet this weekend with at least three potential Republican running mates at a gathering at his ranch in Arizona, suggesting that he is stepping up his search for a vice president now that the Democratic contest appears basically decided, according to Republicans familiar with Mr. McCain’s plans.

Gov. Charlie Crist of Florida, Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana and Mitt Romney, the former governor of Massachusetts and a one-time rival for the Republican nomination, have all accepted invitations to visit with Mr. McCain at his ranch in Sedona, these Republicans said."

Need I remind the world that it was the Republican Florida GovCharlie Crist that MOVED UP the Democratic Primary?! What a slug!! A crooked slug!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


On Tuesday, May 16th, I went online to the Sears website and filled out a service for repair request on my Frigidaire Refrigerator. I chose to have them come that Friday between one and five o'clock. I gave them my credit card number to hold the appointment knowing there would be a service charge of $65.00. I also listed my cell phone as my contact number. On Thursday night, while my cell phone was in a locker at Disney's Typhoon Lagoon, they left two automated messages. While I only received half of the message, it sounded like they said, "to reschedule call...." Which I didn't want to reschedule so I didn't call.

Friday comes and Lori and I pull out the refrigerator, find all the missing cat toys and dog chewies and give the floor a thorough cleaning. We stayed home all day. At four o'clock I saw on my cell phone that I had missed a call. I have it on no ring unless I know the person but I had programmed the Sears number. I checked the messages and guess what? It was an automated message from Sears from a different number saying they were canceling my appointment because they were unable to reach me for confirmation.

I called the original number I had for Sears and got some foreign sounding woman who at first told me she couldn't find my service request ANYWHERE in their system. (Riiiight. I just made it all up sweet lips, and I'm really callin because it's Friday night and I'm lonely.) There was a lot of yelling on my part and I think I did call her stupid somewhere in all that but, that is beside the point. Turns out they were calling a phone number that I haven't had in over thirteen years so I think the title fits! Gee, do you think that is why there was no confirmation?! Why didn't you call the number I gave you? Oh, I see, you assigned it as an alternative number. Sheesh. After trying her best to get ANOTHER phone number out of me with no success, she gave up and gave me ANOTHER appointment which was for today between one and five. ( I refuse to give a home number so Sears can sell it to all their little telemarketer friends.)

Flash to today. The tech calls that he is on his way. I think from Russia since that is the accent I detected. Two men arrive. One American and the 'other' guy. I only mention this because the 'other' guy was funny. They started to take the freezer apart to hear the noise I said it made. Of course it never made the noise while they were here and didn't make the noise all day BEFORE they got here. Heck, it still hasn't made the noise but, I digress. The 'other' guy goes to the truck to get another fan blade to try. I don't know why he did that because the blade was circulating just fine. He even oiled it. While he was gone, Michael starts saying he is thinking that something was shoved to the back and maybe pressed the backing which is thin, up against the fan and that was the sound I was hearing. Whatever. Enter Mr. Fix it and of course his little blade did nothing so he put mine back and determined it was the fan motor. "Is VERRY EXPENSIVE" he says. You can fix or not. Could last month could last three month. No way to tell. Your choice." Of course I ask how much and Michael with his super duper laptop (yea, a tech with a laptop; that should have been a sign!!) tells me he is looking that up. Are you setting down?

The part with tax cost $36.42 The labor with tax? $207.58 So the total is $244.00 NOt sure how they got these numbers but, I had to pay $69.55 today and I have to pay the difference of $174.45 when they come back FRIDAY to install it as they have to order the part. They wouldn't let me pay it today. Something that didn't start to bother me until Lori called. After an in depth inquiry, worthy enough to rival the Spanish Inquisition, she has decided to get the part HERSELF and try to put it in. ::sigh:: I can only imagine how much this is REALLY going to cost before it's over. Stay tuned.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Insanity or Genius at work

My partner is a Scientologist. That means that we/I am bombarded with calls on a daily basis from them. I say I am bombed because of course, she is at work and not here to get them. They are relentless. I never answer the phone. Out of say 17 calls, they will leave maybe four messages. Always wanting to know why she hasn't done some course or trying to sell her a course. It's like they think people should live and breathe Scientology to the exclusion of everything else. But, as unbelievable as that is, it is even more unbelievable that she accepts this constant nagging without exploding. So, I've decided instead of repeatedly asking her to fix something around here, I should try their tactics and just call her. Here's what I would say:

Hi Lori, this is Darlene and I'm calling from home. I see here that you built a deck back in 2000 and I haven't seen any repairs in regards to that. If you have any trouble getting started or need any help please give me a call back. That way I can get you started on repairing the deck. You can buy parts with cash, check or credit card. It's really easy and you're sure to enjoy it once you can walk on it safely again. So just give me a call and let me know what's up.
Thank you. Bye. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Hi Lori!! This is Darlene and I'm calling from the back of our house in Tampa Florida!!!! I just wanted to give you a call and see how you were doing. And I also saw you haven't started on any deck repairs and I just wanted to get in cause with you and find out what was happening with that and if maybe you were disabled or something happened so, can you give me a call back on my cell phone. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Hi Lori! This is Darlene calling from my cell phone in the car. I wanted to get a hold of you and find out uhm, if you had everything that you needed in order to be able to get started repairing the deck. Uhm, I see in the past where you purchased materials but I haven't seen any new materials yet. So I wanted to find out what was going on with that. So can you give me a call back on the new REPAIR THE DAM DECK TODAY hotline. That is REPAIR THE DAM DECK TODAY. Thanks. Bye. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I'm just calling from the deck. I'm updating your 'honey-do- list' and verifying that you do know that several of the boards have now totally rotted out and small animals are falling though. Also, I have a couple of questions for you so please return my call. Thanks. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Hi Lorissa this is Darlene calling from some where in the back yard. Myyyyy number is still the same. Just wanted to make sure you are rolling with getting the deck repaired. If you haven't started you can also give me a call and I can get you started. We can just tear the mother f*cker down if that works better for you or we can hire someone at your expense. So give me a call and let me know what's best for you and we can get you started. Again, my number is the same. And I'm pissed off. That's P-I-S-S-E-D- O-F-F. Alright, hear from you soon. Bye. Beeeeeeeeeeeep

Saturday, May 17, 2008


Tampa, Florida – Tampa Fire Rescue is responding to a report of a boat fire on land at Germer Street and Idaho Street in Port Tampa Saturday afternoon.

According to a neighbor, the owner of the boat was trying to build Noah’s Ark.

We have a crew on scene and will update this report as soon as new information is available.

Tampa Bay's 10 News

Noah's Ark!! ROLMAO!!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

She lied. It IS about the IQ

I'm blogging about this per Tina of Tina-cious. She asked me today if I had ever been hypnotized. Now my answer, I am almost certain, is no where NEARLY as interesting as why she wanted to know.

Once upon a time, in my early twenties, for extra money, I use to clean the office of a woman who was a psychologist I'll call Sue. One day we were talking about hypnosis and she said she could hypnotize me to stop smoking or get over my fear of snakes. I said I didn't want to stop smoking and I think having a fear of snakes is a good thing but, I would like to eat less. I also mentioned that I had always heard that it depended on your IQ whether or not you could be put under. She said that wasn't so and it had more to do with trust than anything and for me to come with her and try it. So we go to her office and she has me lie down. I really didn't feel hypnotized or relaxed or anything. I remember most of the process. Thing she was saying to relax me, etc. She said before she started that she was going to give me a post hypnotic suggestion. She said I wouldn't remember what we had talked about but whenever I heard the phone or a doorbell ring I would remember her words. Okay, so her client arrives and rings the doorbell. She goes to get the door. Meanwhile, I sit up and think, "Hmmm, if I only eat half of what is on my plate I wil feel full but, if I eat more than half, I will feel sick. " And being me, I figured I was finished for the day, she had a client, and so I got up and left.

Some how I made it to another psychologist's place on the other side of town that I also worked for. I remember seeing that she was on the telephone. Apparently she asked me how I felt and I mentioned I was terribly tired. She told me to go in her office and lie down. It gets real muddy after that. I lost about two hours in there somewhere. What apparently happened, or so I was told afterwards, is that I walked out in mid trance. In other words, Sue hadn't woke me up. (Pretty amazing considering I operated a motor vehicle with no moving violations and with absolutely no memory of doing so. Kind of like when I've been drunk.) She was frantic trying to find me when she came back in and saw that I was gone. She even called Chris to see if I had showed up there and was on the phone with her when I walked in. When I regained my mind, Sue and Chris were both there and like I said, about an hour and fortyfive minutes had passed. It was creepy to say the least.

That night at home, I cooked dinner and sat down to eat. Apparently Sue must have asked me what time I normally ate because the phone rang about that time. It was Sue checking on me. Yet, I had that whole thought about the eating only half go through my mind. So, I go back to my plate, look at it and increase the portions.

The following week, I'm over at Sue's again and she asks me how it is going. I tell her things are going great but, I sure am tired of wasting so much food. She asks what I'm talking about and I said, I "remember" you said I could only eat half of what is on my plate so, I've been putting double helpings on my plate. She looks at me and says, "Wow! You're a lot smarter than I gave you credit for." ::growl::

Not sure what you would call this.

Stolen from Tina-cious who stole it from Jess who stole it from Sassy and so on and so forth until the seeds of boredom were fed.

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A picture of the Caribbean that I took on our Disney Cruise last year. ::sigh:: How I wish I were there!


Q. How many televisions you have in your house?
Three now. Gave one to the Salvation Army that was in the computer room since we never used it.


Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
That's a very personal question for a lesbian. I'm right but I can switch. ;~)

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Yes -- gallbladder and appendix
Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My Grandson. He's like 23 lbs now..

Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
Only for surgery. Otherwise I duck.


Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No. It would be nice to make plans but I'm one of those people who would obsess and ruin what time I had left.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
You got me there. I'd probably keep my name and change or delete my middle name.

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Do we have to go there? Sheeeesh.


Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
I’d kiss a member of the same sex or a member of the opposite sex for $100 but no tongue and no infectious diseases.

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
No. I use all my fingers.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000
Judging from my sporadic attempts at blogging, hell yes! Bring it on!

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Yes. In another a farm magazine...or a braille magazine.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
No. Medical bills would cost more than a $1000. Not profitable.

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Define 'fear of punishment'...this life or the hereinafter


Q: What is in your left pocket?

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
I'd vote for Pedro.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Carpet, tile and linoleum which I hate.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
I stand. If I sat, wouldn't that become a bath?

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Zero. I wear sandals.


Q: Last person who texted you?

Q: Last person who called you?

Q: Person you hugged?


Q: Number?
3 -a psychic once told me this was my number for events of meaning - so far so true.

Q: Season?

Q: Color?
Confederate blue


Q: Missing someone?

Q: Mood?
Bored schitless

Q: Listening to?
The fan on the refrigerator going out. Sears isn't scheduled to get here till Friday. Hope it lasts that long.

Q: Watching?
My typing on the monitor.

Q: Worrying about?
Not much of anything.

Q: Wearing?
Grey cotton muscle shirt and dark navy blue cotton shorts.


Q: First place you went this morning?
The kitchen.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
Going to the All Star Resort the end of this month and just lounging by the pool.

Q: Do you smile often?
I'm by myself a lot. Wouldn't that look suspicious?

Q: Are you a friendly person?

Define friendly. I don't talk to strangers.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Who says we aren't in a recession?

Yep! George W. doesn't seem to think so but, get a load of this:

"It now costs more than a penny to make a penny, which is made of zinc and copper. And the cost of a nickel is more than 7 and a-half cents.
Surging prices for copper, zinc and nickel have Congress trying to bring back the steel-made pennies of World War II, and maybe using steel for nickels, as well.

The House is moving toward a vote on a measure that would direct the secretary of the Treasury to suggest a new, more economical composition of the nickel and the penny.

The Treasury Department opposes the bill as "too prescriptive."

It's to something alright!

Thursday, May 1, 2008


If this helps but one person like myself, then it is worth putting this out here. Due to the gastric bypass surgery, I have to take a B12 injection every month for the rest of my life. My doctor said that I could come and he would give it to me or he could write a script for me to do it myself rather than come in and plunk down a $20. co pay (while I have insurance). I chose the later so he said when it was time to come in and they would show me how to give myself an injection.

So I called the office a couple of weeks ago in case I needed an appointment to be shown. The girl (sorry I didn't get her name) put me hold to ask, came back and said no, I didn't need an appointment. To just come in one morning, go through the side door where they check people out and let them know why I was there. She did ask when I thought I would be coming in and I said the first. She said great.

I get there this morning around nine and do exactly like I was told. The woman calls to the back for a nurse or whatever they are these days. Some girl I've seen a gazillion times, comes up and without cracking a smile or saying how are you proceeds, when told by the woman what is needed, that she can't do it. That I will have to sign in and pay my copayment. I repeated that I had been told that. She says, "Well, if you are getting an actual injection then you need to pay." I said, "Well, if I'm going to pay a copayment then, you are going to use YOUR syringe and YOUR B12, not mine." To which the little heifer turns around and leaves. The woman then looks to see if there are any openings in the schedule as I lay my co-pay on the counter. She tells me my doctor's schedule is full. I said I don't need to see him; any first available other than one particular person (who I won't name) is fine with me. Meanwhile the pasty faced biotch with the dyed jet black hair had started to snicker when the little twat from the back had come up. (I'm thinking it was her that gave me the bum advice to begin with but whatever.) The woman says they don't have anything till eleven and did I want to come back. I'm like, no, I live _______ and that is to far to home and back up here again. She then says that all she has left is _____(the one I don't like.) I reached down, picked up my twenty and said, I'll tell you what, if that is all you have then, I'll figure it out myself. Have a nice day.

So I came home and found this on line:

Not completely sure though, I called my friend Nicole and asked if she would show me. Nicole had the same surgery over a year ago and she now gives them to herself. She agreed, so off we went to her house. When we arrived, I showed her my needles She said that after I loose some of the weight, I can get the smaller needles but for now I will have to use these long ones. Well, I'm here to tell you that it is hard to jab yourself with a long needle. (Obviously no one has to worry about me ever becoming a junky!) I couldn't for the life of me do it so, before Nicole could, Lori said she would. I closed my eyes about the time I saw Nicole turn her head and POW! Lori tossed it in like a dart. Oh yea! Thank goodness it didn't hurt. I was surprised. It was a long needle and it was all the way in. I was then able to complete the injection myself. Afterwards, Nicole jokingly said that Lori looked like Xena the Warrior. Lori on the other hand said she thought it would be hard to go in but it was like butter. Lovely. So I guess even my muscles are like Jell-O. Anyway, between Nicole's guidance and Lori's bravery, it got done. No thanks to the medical establishment that I trust to keep me healthy.