Friday, January 25, 2008

He's gone

My father passed away at 9:12 this morning. We had told my mother that we would drive her out there this morning rather than her step son picking her up as he had done yesterday. I wanted her to be able to spend some time alone with him without everyone being in there. We were held up by a train on the way. When we arrived, Lori helped my mother into the wheel chair and pushed her inside as I went to park the car. When I came in, I saw them and it looked like they were waiting for me. Lori looked at me as if to call me over. I told her I had to sign in. She said this woman would like to speak to you. I stopped and walked toward her. I could tell it was not good by the look on her face but, other than that I didn't have a lot of time to give it a lot of deep thought other than whatever she was going to tell me, I didn't want her to do near my mother. I motioned for her to follow me and we walked a good five feet away. She said that she had tried to call me but I wasn't home, etc., She said that he passed away a few minutes ago. At that point, as the woman was trying to tell me more, Lori said, "She heard you." The woman immediately started to apologize but by then I was already with her and Lori. I told her I was sorry and after a few seconds she said she wanted to see him. She told me later that she had pushed the button on her watch that tells her the time when she heard the woman and it was 9:14. If the train hadn't stopped us we would have been there. I think it was a godsend we weren't. For her it would have been so much worse. I am sure my father would not have wanted her to be in that space at that moment.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Father in a VA run nursing home.... Mother went out on the 16th with a large sheet cake to celebrate his 86th birthday and found out he wasn't feeling well. Whatever that meant at the time. He wasn't eating and they said he wouldn't take any of his medicines. Of course he didn't touch his birthday cake so she came home with half of it even after giving everyone in the dining room there and the staff some. The test results had come back and it showed a kidney infection. Everyone felt like the antibiotics on an empty stomach may be making him feel nauseous and that is why he didn't want to eat. Still everyone was trying.

On Saturday, we took my Grandson to visit him. He had never seen the baby since he has had colds, etc. off and on since the boy was born. Didn't want him to pass anything onto the baby or have the baby pass anything on to him. So this was their first meeting. He touched him and opened his eyes but, gave no real signs of communication. He can't speak due to a stroke a number of years ago that left him paralyzed on his entire left side which is why he is in the home. We stayed about forty minutes but, it was hard since he looked tired and kept his eyes closed. The guy in the room with him kept staring at him and hollering that if we didn't get him to eat he was going to die! Finally, I asked him if he would like some help out into the hallway and I pulled him and his wheelchair out into the hall where he continued to holler that. Finally a nurse came and said, get him away from there. The family is in there trying to visit. After that it was quiet.

Monday came and he still wouldn't take his medicines. According to my mother, he takes the antibiotic but not the normal meds he needs. I find the later hard to believe. If he won't take his usual meds, why would he take the antibiotic? She gets things confused.

They finally moved my father out of that room yesterday and into a private one. Hospice of course is in there twenty-four hours now.

Jump forward.

My brother just called. He spoke with the nurse who said that he very tired, exhibiting the shortness of breath and is also running a temperature now. They said he was hanging in there but, they don't give him a week. Of course, mother knows none of this part. They have been married right at 56 years. She is only living for him. She was given six months to live and she has survived six years going on seven in March. As my brother pointed out, "Darlene, it's going to be bad."

No sh!t.

I've been tagged

The rules of this meme are:

Link to the person that tagged you.

Post the rules on your blog.

Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.

Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.

Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

1. When I was a child, I hated Mayonaise and would always choose Mustard. In my early adult years, I found out, my mother wasn't using Mayo but some sort of cheap salad dressing all those years. I then tried Mayo, liked it and started it from then on. Now I am being told to go to mustard because Mayo isn't good for you. Go figure.

2. I really hate chain letters. Enough so that I send them to the PostMaster at the main postoffice so they can try to track down the guilty party and prosecute. Now that is hate, isn't it? LOL

3. I hate staying up till 2:30 every morning because my partner can't come in from work and just go to bed. I feel like I'm the one on a night shift.

4. I love sushi! Not those stupid rice roll things but, the raw Salmon and Tuna. I could eat that everyday.

5. I will be 51 this year and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

6. I am a wee bit scared about having the gastric bypass. Okay, I'm a lot scared. I'd hate to die on the table and be this size for eternity. Total bummer.

I am going to tag... let's see whose blogs do I read that haven't been tagged already.... I have slim pickins here...kind of like my links on the L word chart.

Thursday, January 17, 2008


SCENE: Me in a foot boot due to undiagnosed pain and swelling in my left ankle. Tamara (name changed to protect the innocent.) lives across the street from my mother. Works for the county for a company that sends people out to clean homes for elderly. Does my mother's house and several others in the area. Just had to go out in the rain to buy mother's weekly groceries....all ten items that she couldn't wait till tomorrow to have.

Calling mother on cell phone standing behind my car: Hey, it's me. I'm standing outside on your driveway. Do you know if Tamara left her window open?
Mother: No, she doesn't usually open the windows.
Me: I didn't think so. It looks like the screen is off too.
Mother (Sounding disgusted) : Well, Darlene, I'll have to go check.
Me: Check what? I'm not talking about YOUR window. I'm talking about hers.
Mother (still agitated): Well, I don't know anything about that. You know I can't see well enough to see if it's open.
Me (rolling eyes trying to stay calm): I know you can't. I'm telling you it looks like her window is open. I'm looking at it. And your groceries are in my trunk.
Mother: Well, you'll have to call the company. I don't know where she is at. I'll unlock the door for you.
Me: Alright. I just hate to take my eyes off of it if someone is inside.
Mother (being hateful): Well, I can't see to look up the number.
Me: Fine. Bye.

Take groceries to the door as she blocks the entrance with her walker, decrepit self and her dog. Get past her and put groceries down.

Me (Putting the groceries down and getting agitated): How am I going to look up the number? What's the name?
Mother: Well, it's on that paper they turn in. They leave a copy and I keep them in the piano bench. Tamara just put one in the folder today.

She hobbles over to the bench and lifts it up. I come by her and pick up the first packet on the top.

Me (picking up the first thing in the pile): Is this it? It's an envelope not a folder.
Mother (Very annoyed with me) : NO! It's a folder!!

I look under the multitude of envelopes to find "the" folder.

ME: I got it.

I step just outside on the front porch to keep an eye on the place as I call. Only there is no number in the folder. Just a sign off sheet showing that she had been there and how many hours total for the week. I decide to call the girl that comes to give mother her bath. She works for the same company and I have her cell phone number. She tells me the phone number and says that the company will call Tamara and tell her if I call but, not if she called them.

I call the number and I am telling the woman I am trying to leave a message for Tamara Johnson and this is the only number I have to get the message to her.

Worker: I'm sorry I can't give out Tamara's personal information, blah blah blah
Me (getting frustrated. Foot hurting. Up to long and just want to get away from here): Mame, I don't want her personal information. I know her personal information. I live across the street from her and it looks like one of her windows is open and in all the years I've known her, I've never known her to leave a window open and I'm just trying to get that message to her.
Worker: Oh! Well, have you called the police?
Me: I think I should get a hold of her first. It may be she is aware it is open.
Worker: Everyone is in a meeting right now but, I will see what I can do about getting a hold of her.
Me: Thank you.

I hang up and go back in the house. Mother trying to put away her groceries. Seems calmed down.

Me (relieved): Okay, I called. They wanted to know why I didn't call the police, I told them I wanted her to know first. Poor Tamara. That call will freak her out.

Mother (snippy): Well, Darlene she isn't working for that company today. She is working for a private company today.

Me: WHAT?!?!?!?! You said to call the company.....

Mother (Back in defensive angry mode again): Well I just remembered she isn't working for them today but, you had already run outside before I could tell you.

Bear in mind, foot is in boot. I am not "running" anywhere. I am agonizingly limping very slowly.

Me: You know what? This just isn't in anyway my problem. I'm done.

Mother (still hobbling around in the kitchen) Well, I'll call the police then! What is their number?

Me: Uhm, 9-1-1 ?!

Long pause

Me: I'm leaving

I get in my car, drive around the corner to get a closer look. What do you know? Her window wasn't open after all. It was a half window with a window A/C sticking out of it and she apparently cleaned the glass so good it looks open. OOPS! My bad. heehee

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Starting 2008 with 50 USELESS things about myself

1. Do you like blue cheese?

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
NO! I don't do drugs or like people who do drugs!

3. Do you own a gun?

4. Your favorite song?
It's an oldie...Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me by Mel Carter

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I like the beef ones. And yes, I know what they are made of but they taste good.

7. Favorite Christmas song?
I like the Charlie Brown Christmas theme song. I don't know the name.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the mornings?
Publix unsweet tea

9. Can you do push ups?
no :~(

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
The 18k gold Spanish ID bracelet my natural mother gave me when I was 16

12. Favorite hobby?
metal detecting

13. Secret weapon to get the opposite sex?
Wait! I don't want the opposite sex!!! You keep 'em. lol

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
Eh, the kids like to say I do but, I just found out I don't. It's from an old head injury.

15. What's one trait do you hate about yourself?
I'm way to judgmental.

16. Middle Name?
Let's not go there and ruin the day.

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1) I can't believe I'm wasting my time on this, 2) I bet I get stuck taking down all the decorations by myself; again, 3) I hope Dane's laptop is ready this Saturday.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
Whataburger Hamburger, fries and a diet coke. BUSTED! lol

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
unsweet ice tea, caffeine free coffee & bottled water with

20. Current worry right now?
scheduling the gastric bypass surgery

21. Current hate right now?
All the crap leading up to this Presidential election.

22. Favorite place to be?
At home w/Lori

23. How did you bring in the New Year?
With Lori, Dane and two friends of Dane's. It was nice. I don't care for loud music, cheap fireworks or drunks so, home is usually my place of choice to celebrate.

24. Where would you like to go?
Back out on another week long or longer Disney Caribbean Cruise-

25. Name three people who will complete this?
Tina, Katie and Jess

26. Do you own slippers?
Not slippers per say but, I own bedroom shoes that look like boots. I never wear them.

27. What shirt are you wearing?
Black sweat shirt from Epcot with Mexican flag on the front. (No I'm not Mexican)

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
NO I hate it!!!! I slide to much.

29. Can you whistle?
Yes I can and I do. A LOT!

30. Favorite color?
black then red

31. Would you be a pirate?
Only if I were the Captain! I love the sea!!!!!

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I'm usually to tired by that point to sing.

33. Favorite girl's name?
Never had a favorite.

34. Favorite boy's name?

35. What's in your pocket right now?

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Watching Jullian climb up on me.

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
Didn't have a "best" sheet; I had a "best" blanket; it was red, white and black silhouettes of Indians and cowboys on it.

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
I thought my back injury from a car wreck in 1996 but, now I am being told the head injury I received from a car accident back in 1978.

39. Do you love where you live?
No, actually I don't. But, I am restricted as to where to move to because of Lori and Dane's job.

40. How many tv's do you have in your house?

41. Who is your loudest friend?
Millie/Milagros hands down! Lordy!

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
I'd be the last to know

45. What is your favorite book?
Treasure Island. LOL

46. What is your favorite candy?
I'm not into candy. My father sold candy for a living and I had tons of every kind ever sold. By the time I was eight I was waaaaay over it.

47. What is your favorite Sports Team?

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I don't plan on dying!

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Watching the L word reruns and getting all worked up again. lol

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Hopefully I slept through the freeze and it's warm out.