Wednesday, October 21, 2009


At first I wasn't going to blog about this but, I can see that it is going to be another one of those funny little Scientology stories that should be told.

I received a standard letter a few weeks back from a woman I'll call Tweedle Dee. It read:

This is Tweedle Dee. I am a Service Consultant at the Church of Scientology of xxxxx.
I have been helping people with the technology of Scientology to find the right solution for them for the various difficulties they have in life. I thought you would be interested to know some of the things which can be handled using the technology of Scientology.

In looking at this list you might find a situation you are in yourself. If so, that's okay-It can be handled. (unfortunately non of the situations include being a) stalked by the Church of Scientology b) being bombed with phone calls from the Church of Scientology c) being sent butt loads of Scientology junk mail)

Each item on this list can be dealt with and handled. the way it gets handled is different for every person, but it starts with deciding to do something about it. None of these things get better on their own. It requires your decision to handle it and help yourself get rid of the unwanted conditions in your life. (Never mind that THEY are the only unwanted condition in my life.)

In Scientology, we have the knowledge and tools to handle these conditions. But it does start with your participation.

Call me at (XXX) XXX-XXXX or mail this form back to me as the first step.

Tweedle Dee
To which I responded with the following form letter:


Dear _______________[insert name]

I received your letter dated____________

I signed up and completed the Communication course. Someone else signed me up for the Dianetics Original Thesis Course. I came in and did not care for the course nor the structure of the environment and have no plans to return to any Scientology courses now or in the foreseeable future.

Repeated requests to be taken off all mailing lists go ignored and I have become accustomed to the daily sorting and trashing of Scientology literature of which I am certain you will not understand.

If however, an explanation is needed, I'm quite sure you have gone to a store shopping for shoes and may have tried on several pars only to find you didn't prefer them for reason or another. Perhaps you even went toa different store where eventually you found what you wanted and what best fit you. This is what I have done; found a church I prefer to Scientology. This revelation will without a doubt, have absolutely no impact on the actions of you church and is why I will continue to use this standad from letter to reply.

Peace be with you,

Personally, I think the above response is waaaaay nicer than any of them deserve but, whatever. I was stupid. I saw a personality test online and I was dumb enough to take it. I then got sold a bill of goods and took a course. My mistake. Why was it a mistake? Because I went to a place to learn about communication. Communication people. A place that when someone tells them NO about something you would think that they would GET that. But, they don't. What does that say to you about the way THEY communicate? Now here comes the stalking sic part about this that I have come to expect from the likes of them. I got the same form letter in the mail again today. Are you starting to see a pattern here folks? These people are robots. They do the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and that is all they know to do. So, of course I just hit print and in their envelope the standard reply goes. It is their envelope and their postage so I don't care. I just want this to be a lesson to anyone out there who is even REMOTELY curious about this group. DON'T BE!!! They really are relentless. And unless you have the fortitude and the stamina to deal, they will eat you for breakfast and eventually suck every dime you have. Their courses are expensive and if you can't pay for them then you can work for them. It is a win win for them. Money or slaves.

Their new tactic is to sponsor ads on MySpace and other networking sites where teens who question their existence and the meaning of life on a minute to minute basis can be found. A veritable smorgasbord of prey. They also use these websites to track people. It is what they do. It is all a tremendous number of them do. It's their job. Don't make it yours.

3 comments: said...

Wow. They really are still at it?

I found saying "go fuck yourselves" repeatedly to the Mormons worked for me. :P

dandelionpicker said...

I have some really annoying Jehovah's Witnesses that go up and down my street every Saturday. I should NOT have to board myself in my house every Saturday morning to avoid them! Its not fair! I've even tried telling them nicely "we are atheists...please, leave us alone, we don't want to be "saved". They still come by and leave literature!

PS-I've still been reading your blog, I just suck at commenting! Tina's and Jess's too!

existere said...

I read this in a fascinated way. I have watched some scary ass Scientology stalking videos on YouTube. It's like rubbernecking a car crash or something.