I found Computer Hell and it is lonely

Well, I made it back to square one here. I know it has been a while since I posted. I've been having computer issues. Anyone who knows me knows I know very little about computers. Lori who has her A+ certification, Net plus certification and Microsoft certified professional, etc.,and knows even less. My son on the other hand seems to know everything about everything and I always turn to him when the going gets out of control.

In a nut shell, my Antivirus program needed to be updated. To do that I needed to install service packs that I couldn't because I had a bootleg copy of Windows XP so, I had a new XP but never had put it on. Well, after much screaming and crying....by Lori....because I don't want her near my computer, I mentioned it to Daniel and he came over to do it. The reason being, Lori has a way of doing things at times that makes me want to cut my wrists and bleed all over the carpet. I don't know of any nice way of putting it. I love her dearly but, when it comes to my computer our relationship takes a dive straight to hell with lots of cursing and crying and gnaching of teeth. Let me give you give you a pretend scenario of a burned out light to illustrate what I go through with this Mensa member.

I ask: How do you change the bulb on this new kitchen fixture?
Lori: Well it is has a red and black wire running from the electrical box which allows it to utilize 110 watts of power. It comes in on x wire and retuns on y and is hooked here to this circuit breaker. When the switch is on, the power travels through the cord behind this block and past the phone line ......

Okay, at that point, I've moved on. I don't care if the light ever comes on because I've adapted to the dark.

Now there is Daniel....
I ask: How do you change the bulb on this new kitchen fixture?
Daniel: You unscrew it in the back, take off the lid and then screw in a bulb.

SWEET! You see the difference? So when I tell you we can't talk about computers you can kind of see why. Something simple......takes hours! Something a little more serious can take days and if it is really a mess, it could be WEEKS! Or in poor Dane's case with his laptop, she took two months and he wound up getting it back and heading to the GEEK squad at Best Buy. Nuff said.

So today, my son Daniel came and wiped out one of my harddrives. I had two; C and D. Loriinstalled a 2nd one and told me to use it for backup. Oh how these words haunt me. To make sure I didn't get confused as I have a tendency to do, it was even labeled D Drive [Backup]

He wiped out the one hard drive and put the disc in for the new XP. To shorten this nightmare, I will tell you that Lori got this disc from Dell for Dane's laptop. He had a virus and she called them and they sent him the disc so that he could reinstall the program once he got it back from the GEEK squad. Turns out,contrary to what she said they told her, you can't put an XP disc on more than one computer. You need the key and it is only good for ONE (say it with me) ONE computer. SOOOO, we had this worthless disc and had to spend $150. for another key so Daniel could continue this whole update situation. But before I go to far, let me start with a few weeks ago when I made the decision to do this. I started copying things I wanted to keep. I did everything but the photos and music...

All was well until I looked in my backup drive which is.............PHUCKING EMPTY!!!! He thinks it is because it contained shortcuts and when the original files were deleted, the shortcuts went bye bye. Now what is the point of a backup?? I thought to copy files you wanted to save...but, I'm an idiot.

Bottom line is I have lost so many pictures I could cry. Most I can never ever get back. No copies no nothing. My music files??? Gone. Can't find them. I finally found a program disc I use to have and installed that. It asked if I wanted it to search for my music and I said yes. A miracle happened in that it pulled up a huge library. However, none of th great CD's of Dane's that he copied for me are on there. None of his music or videos are on there. I am just heartsick. I don't dare mention this to Lori. Not that she would have been able to save anything but, she will blame Dan and it isn't his fault. I asked her how to copy my pictures onto a disc before Christmas. Finally today, she spent over 45 mins trying to show me. Not that I'm stupid but, she wasn't doing it right and kept stopping. Finally I said nevermind. I called Daniel. He told me what to do and I did maybe two discs and that is all I had time to do before he arrived. He said not to worry if it was on my backup. Famous last words.

Jump ahead. All my addresses are gone too but, I had printed out a copy so, I'm hoping everyone is on there. If not, I will have to wait till you email me to have it again. ::Sheesh:::

I am so upset about my photos. I feel like I've had a fire all over again. I mean, I had baby photos of Jullian that I downloaded from my digital camera before I wiped the memory card clean. Gone. Just plain gone. I will never store photos on here again. NEVER. I will never save anything to this computer that can't be put on a disc or a floppy at the time I do it. I'm so done.

Anyway, now I get to install a bucket load of drivers and pray everything works. SO far at least all my favorites and my blogs are all up. Of course I saved them on other servers. But then, I'm an idiot for not asking sooner how to use this program I have for writing CD's and getting it done. Still it makes me physically ill.

I hope to never have to do this again. Sheesh! Like I have any say so in it.

Mother Christmas

On Thanksgiving, my church, MCC of Tampa had a huge Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone brought a dish and there was so much food that at the end of the meal, they were begging people to take stuff home.

Now normally, I cook at Thanksgiving so, at first I thought I might skip that tradition and just eat there. Especially since Daniel and his wife live far enough away that they don't want to drive back and forth for the next several days just to help us eat the leftovers. Not to mention, I'm the second stop they make that day so, they don't eat much and I don't know how to cook just a little. But, as fate would have it, I wound up cooking anyway as Daniel bought a turkey. Also because I wanted to attend the church meal, I moved my dinner to six o'clock in the evening. I figured that would be sufficient time for the lunch to settle and everyone's appetite return. Plus, I could attend the church meal, and still have time to prepare the last of the side dishes afterwards. As a nice gesture, I invited my mother to attend the church dinner. At first she refused as if by saying no, I would change my plans and stay and cook. When it began to sink in that I wasn't going to be guilted into that, she relented and said she would go. The service was nontraditional as always. I mean, we are a predominately gay and lesbian church so, scripture is often used as a metaphor to our plight in this world. They spoke about people who have torn us down and told us we weren't loveable, etc., This was very riveting as it was as if my mother was being told off in a way, I could have never found the words to do. Needless to say, she sat there like a bloated up old toad. At the end of the service there is always communion. No one is ever turned away. You don't have to be a member of our church or any church to receive it. They go by rows and you just go up to the front or back of the church where the ministers are standing to participate. The reverend, being kind, came directly to my mother as she was in a wheel chair and asked if she would like to receive communion. "NO!" was what she said in a very cross tone. It was embarrassing to say the least but, comical too.

Let me give you a post script here: We never invite my brother to our dinner. After 10 years of asking him and hearing every excuse under the sun and then finally no answer what-so-ever to our invitation, we stopped. This year, my mother took it upon herself to invite my brother to my house and then told me that she had done it with the statement "I hope he will be welcome." I told her I had never shut the door in his face but, that I had said years ago I would not be extending another invitation. Behind her back we were all whispering how he would no show and we were correct. Now lets jump forward to Christmas, shall we?

I just went down to check her central air and heating as she said the air condition wasn't coming on. That is because she had it on heat and had cranked it up to 79 degrees. The poor dog didn't know whether to shed or sit in it's water dish.

While I'm there, she asked me when I was having Christmas dinner. I said I didn't know.

Insert info here: My youngest son Dane moved in with his girlfriend the Friday after Thanksgiving.

I explained that it seemed silly to cook a lot (kind of like at Thanksgiving) since Lori has to work, Daniel and his family will hit is wife's family first and I have no idea when Dane will come around but, I'm sure it won't be early. I said I hadn't even given any thought to what I was having or anything. The conversation went like this:

Mom: Well, I'll pay for the ham.
Me: Why? Is David coming?
Mom: He would have come Thanksgiving but you had it to late.
Me: Six o'clock is not late. Lots of people eat in the evening. Not everyone eats right at the stroke of twelve.
Mom: Well, it was to late for him. He has to drive back around that time. (He lives in New Port Richey)
Me: Hey, I'm not going to shift around my entire day to suit David's schedule when 99% of the time he never calls or shows up.
Mom: Is your church planning a meal?
Me: They are Christmas Eve and I'm going to that. [they are during the day too but, I didn't mention it because I could tell she was wanting to be mean.]
Mom: Well, I'm not going!!!
Me: I didn't ask you.
Mom: I know you didn't but I'm telling you anyway.
Me: That's fine.

Now can you believe that? That is what I grew up with. Hatefulness and the constant reinforcement that my brother's time and presence was much more valuable than that of my own. He on the other hand, has that air about him that he could, should he choose, walk on water. Amazing that you could adopt two children who are biologically related and divide them to the degree she has but, I digress.

I'm thinking of calling the local deli and ordering a complete meal. I'll deliver it to her house on my way to church and say, ' Merry Christmas. I couldn't decide what to get you and then I realized, dinner with your son was what you wanted. Enjoy!' And then leave. I'm betting he will show some time that day. It might be late but, his reasons are always fine with her. What do you think?

CELEBRATE

A Special Email

It's true. Sometimes kids grow up to be wiser than we were at their age. I don't think even as a young adult, I ever reflected on what my parents were going through. I received this email today from my oldest son and thought I would share. I'm sure it applies to many.


Mom,

I got this and thought of you and all the things that you’ve gone through.

Malachi 3:3 says:

'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.'


This verse puzzled me and I wondered what this statement meant about the true character and nature of God.

I decided to find out the process of refining silver before my next Bible Study.

I called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. I didn't mention anything about the reason for my interest beyond that of curiosity regarding the process of refining Silver.

As I watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest in order to burn away all the impurities.

I thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then thought again about the verse that says: 'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.' Feeling the heat from the flame, I then asked the silversmith if he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. “If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.”

I went silent for a moment. Then asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?'

His answer struck me when he replied: 'Oh, that's easy ...when I see my own image in it.'

What is Left to Be Said

wow. That's all I can say. People are talking about California's Proposition 8 and not even mentioning the slaughter and carnage in Florida with Amendment 2 passing. Billed as the "Gay marriage ban" it passed. All that was needed was 60% plus one vote. Before the last precincts were even reported, the total was:
62% or 4,589,831 for the ban
37% or 2,800,945 against it

Either way you look at it, that's a lot of haters. Over four million, five hundred and eighty-nine thousand, eight hundred and thirty one. And like I said, that wasn't ALL the votes. This is what it was last night, the last time I looked at it.

I'm just in shock. I have always felt out of place growing up and living here. Why I stayed and made a home here was purely due to economics. As a single parent in the late 70's the closer I needed to be to my so called support system, i.e.., family no matter how homophobic. Yes there were battles with that. I even endured my parents threatening to take my son away because I wanted to live with a woman. But, I persevered.

Maybe Amendment 2 won because it is where all the haters come to die. It also has as many rednecks as Georgia and Alabama. After all, we do have the largest Confederate Flag in the Nation flying in this town at the I-4 and I-75 junction. Maybe the 'Vote No on Amendment 2'folks didn't have the celebrity clout or money that California has. After all, people by nature down here are like sheep. In the end who really knows. But honestly, the older I get the more I think about my 'golden years' and how they may not be so golden down here. I've watched my grandparents, my Uncles, and finally one parent, age, become ill and die. It isn't pretty. None of mine had any strength to fight in the end. I can't imagine being in a similar situation and dying alone in some room because my life partner will not be allowed by my side and no one to speak up for her, for me, for us. Nope, I can't see that as being golden. All I can do is hope that our new President leads us all out of the bleak cavern of despair that exists here in Florida.

NOVEMBER 4TH

You know, I am so glad this election is coming to an end. Aside from hating the way the whole thing was run, I hate the way it turned a spotlight on some of my so called friends and family. I had friends that I thought really were friends. They always ask about Lori if they see me without her and vice versa if I'm not with her. Never seemed like there was any issues. Low and behold, this whole Amendment 2 issue has certainly awakened their true nature. I guess while they may like us as individuals or even as a couple, they don't feel we deserve equal rights. And I'm sure somewhere in the back of their minds, they feel it is okay to feel superior to us. Looking back, when they would ask, 'Are you and Lori still together?' I should have known. In their twisted bigoted minds, they probably think gays and lesbian couples only last a few years at best.

As for family members, I hope they don't look for a Christmas card this year cause it won't be in their box. Thank goodness this only happens every four years. It's been nerve racking and I wasn't running for office.

AMENDMENT 2 AND IT'S EFFECT ON FAMILIES

The following is taken from a letter by some Florida attorneys who publicly shared their concerns about this amendment with their fellow Floridians.

The vague language and potentially damaging consequences of the proposed Constitutional Amendment 2 in Florida called the Florida Marriage Protection Amendment. It is often referred to in the media as a "Gay marraige ban.' The proposed amendment is:

"In as much as marraige is the legal union of only one man and one woman as husband and wife, no other legal union that is treated as marraige or the substantial equivalent therof shall be valid or recognized."

FLORIDA LAW ALREADY PROHIBITS SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

References to 'marriage protection' or 'gay marriage bans' are misleading as four existing Florida statues [FS 741.212 (1), 741.212 (2), 741.212 (3) and 741.04] already define marriage as the union of a man and a woman or oherwise prohibit the creationor recognition of 'same-sex marriages.' The legality or recognition of 'same-ses' unions in Florida will be no more or less illegal in Florida regardless of the outcome of the proposed amendment.

AMBIGUITY IN AMENDMENT LANGUAGE WILL LIKELY RESULT IN UNANTICIPATED AND SERIOUS ECONOMIC AND LEGAL REPERCUSSIONS

The chief concern is the section of the proposed amendment which states: "...no other legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid or recognized."

The 2006 report of the Florida LEgislative Office of Economic and Demographic Research (EDR) concluded: "The amendment provides no definition for the phrase 'substantial equivalent thereof,' which lends to the ambiguity of the wording of the proposed amendment."

Adding such vague, untested and undefined language is likely to deliver unanticipated repercussions and could substantially alter our state both economically and legally. Quoting the EDR report on Amendment 2 again, it warns, "Depending on actions taken by the Legislature, the courts, and Florida businesses, financial obligations between individuals are expected to change in complex ways..."

POTENTIAL LOSS OF EXISTING LEGAL PROTECTIONS AND BENEFITS FOR ALL FLORIDIANS.

ALIMONY: In 2005, the State Legislature adopted a new law designed to prevent a loophole where a former spouse receiving permanent alimony opts to cohabitate with a new partner rather than remarrying and continues to receive permanent alimony. Under this relatively new divorce law, a former spouse's alimony obligation may terminate if the recipient spouse enters into a "supportive relationship" with another person. Florida case law defines a supportive relationship as one that provides "support equivalent to marriage". Clearly, "support equivalent to marriage" is dangerously similar to "substantial equivalent to marriage". The portion of Florida Statute 61.14 recognizing a relationship providing "support equivalent to marriage" could be held unconstitutional under Amendment 2. As a result, every former spouse who is either Court Ordered or who signed an agreement to pay permanent alimony could be required to continue paying alimony despite the fact that the receiving spouse had found a new partner. At the very least, these individuals will face a costly Court battle trying to uphold their agreements and to terminate their alimony obligations.

Domestic Violence Protection: Other potential impacts include using Amendment 2 as a defense to domestic violence on an unmarried partner ( a similar amendment was used as a domestic violence defense in Ohio). Quoting the EDR again, "By invalidating any union or 'substantial equivalent thereof,' this amendment could be raised raised as a defense in domestic violence cases, resulting in fewer domestic violence convictions.

PRIVATE PROPERTY ARRANGEMENTS AND ESTATE PLANNING: Without examining every potential consequence in great detail, it is possible that Amendment 2 could also have profound implications on the ability of citizens to share property or pass on assets, establish trusts or other legal arrangements or even remarry. Especially likely to be impacted by this outcome are Florida's senior citizens and retirees who remain unmarried by choice and share pension benefits or other government benefits they have earned.

DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP REGISTRIES: this vague and broad language could also risk termination of the several established domestic partnership registries which are currently accessible to millions of Floridians. These registries allow unmarried Floridians to share benefits or other protections such as hospital visitation, burial rights and health care benefits. The non-partisan and independent EDR report again sites this concern in finding: "If domestic partnership registries are deemed substantially equivalent to marriage, their termination could place registrants at risk of losing specified rights and benefits, such as those related to health insurance."

While NO ONE CAN KNOW THE FULL IMPACT OF THE PROPOSED AMENDMENT, LITIGATION WILL RESULT as vested interest challenge shared health plans, defend domestic abusers or goverments seek clarity to the undefined language in the proposal. Even if every warning and potential outcome proves unfounded, the years of uncertainty and sheer legal expenses would be costly and unnecesary. Florida voters should be hesitant to support the vague and untested language in Amendment 2. Adding such a provision to our Constitution is unwise, especially when adoptiong the amendment will not alter our state's current laws banning 'same-sex marriage.'


VOTE NO ON AMENDMENT 2