Sunday, July 12, 2009

Lori's Beloved Brother

May he rest in peace.......

LeRoy H. Pfaff, age 62, of Sacramento, CA died on Tuesday, July 7, 2009 at his home surrounded by his family. He was born on September 20, 1946, the son of Henry Pfaff and Ruth(Cook) Bailey in Lancaster, WI. LeRoy graduated from Lancaster High School in 1964, received a B.S. in Computer Science from Chapman College in 1984, and a M.S. in Telecommunications Management at Golden Gate University in 1993.On August 23, 1969, LeRoy was united in marriage to Alberta Breuer at St. Charles Catholic Church in Cassville, WI. LeRoy served 21 years in the USAF and received the Meritorious Service Award. He retired at the rank of MSGT. He was stationed at Mather AFB, CA from 1980-87 and remained in Sacramento, CA after retiring. He was employed by Anteon from 1987-2001. From 2001 to the present he worked for Anteon Corporation of General Dynamics of Sacramento, CA as a consultant for the US Army Corps of Engineers as a Senior Analyst/Programmer, CAD Manager Supervisor.LeRoy was a Scout Master for 5 years and received the Order of the Arrow. He enjoyed computer technology and programming. He also loved camping, fishing, and gold panning. LeRoy dearly loved spending time with his family, especially his grandson Mark Joshua Vaughn. He hosted 38 exchange students from around the world since 1992.LeRoy is survived by his wife Alberta of 40 years, a daughter, Denise(Luke) Vaughn of Hillsboro, Oregon, a son, Craig(Aimee) Pfaff of Sacramento, CA, and one grandson, Mark Joshua Vaughn. Also survived by three sisters Charlene Ingebritsen, Marita Hale, and Lorissa(Darlene House) Pfaff; five brothers, Loren(Kathy) Pfaff, Warren(Viola) Pfaff, Darvin(Ginger) Pfaff, Galen Pfaff, Terry(Chris) Pfaff along with many nieces and nephews. Survived by father-in-law Albert Breuer and 13 brothers- and sisters-in-law and exchange students turned son, Jakub Magner(Poland), and daughter, Nataly Lessa(Brazil).He was preceded in death by his parents, mother-in-law Marilyn Breuer, brothers- in-law Jim Ingebritsen, Vernon Hale, and Markus Breuer.Funeral services will be held on Monday July 13, 2009 at 10:00 a.m. at St. John Vianney Catholic Church, Rancho Cordova, CA with Father Martin Moroney officiating. LeRoy was buried in Calvary Catholic Cemetery, Sacramento, CA. A viewing will be held on Sunday, July 12, 2009 from Noon until 5:00 p.m. at East Lawn Mortuary, 5757 Greenback Ln. Sacramento, CA. Memorial donations may be made to the Children's Cancer Center of your choice. Services July 13 2009 10:00 A.M.

Published in Sacramento Bee on 7/12/2009


Rain said...

Please give Lori my condolences. I'm so sorry to hear about her loss. My thoughts are with you and Lori.

Darlene said...

Thanks Rain. said...

Sorry -- I'm soooooooo behind on blog readin'.

Again, I am very sorry for your and Lori's loss.

:::hugs to you both::::

dekerivers said...

Dear Darlene,

My name is Gregory Humphrey, and I am Darvin Pfaff’s brother-in-law. My partner, James Wilson, and I would like to express our sympathies to you and Lorissa after the passing of her brother LeRoy. He sounds like he was a very generous and caring person who will be missed by many. I know these times are rough emotional ones for you both, but you and your family are in our thoughts.

I read the obituary that was written for LeRoy just this morning, and then through Google found your blog. It was there I learned that you wrote the obituary for your dad a while ago. We were doubly sad to learn of that loss for you also. I know how hard writing an obit can be, but also know how healing of a process it is. James and I wrote, through many tears, my mom’s obituary in 2007.

James and I have been together for 9 years, own a house, and live like every couple in our neighborhood. He teaches, I write, and we garden in the summer months. The extended family on both my parents’ sides are warm, welcoming, and inclusive. My mom and dad were both very kind to James, and made him feel like a part of the family-- my family. James also cared very much for my mom (and was one of her pall bearers), and enjoys listening to Dad’s tales of the war (his academic research has often been from that period).

My hope here is to extend a little human kindness to you both from my family to yours in the absence of what Darvin likely should have been able to muster on his own recently. I have come to better understand what family is all about since coming out and especially since James came in to my life. Family is not just about men and women, or some antiquated notion about what marriage is. Instead, it is about love and togetherness, shared commitments in the good times like the reunions and family bonfires, or the sad times when a loved one passes and sadness falls our way. It really is not a hard concept to understand, and yet I find myself from time to time needing share my story with others—especially sometimes with my immediate family—as often they are the ones who need to hear it the most.

I wish I could say that all of my family were as compassionate as my mom and dad’s extended families. With Darvin and his wife Ginger, it has been just the opposite, as I suspect you already know or can imagine. Darvin and Ginger, my sister, were very opposed to my having included James as part of my family when it came time to write my mother’s obituary. In one heated discussion, she actually informed me that if she had had her druthers, there would have been no mention of either of us at all! Not only was my mother’s passing a difficult time, but it also was made rather ugly—after my mother’s wake, Ginger organized a “family” dinner, to which James and I weren’t invited.

I have written more to you via Facebook.

Very sincerely,
Gregory A. Humphrey